I wrote about people who identify as “fans” of school shooters for Tablet. This piece was really hard to write and deeply disturbing to me and I don’t think a simple description will do it justice. Read it here.
The bit about authentic acts and sincerity really rings true. There does seem to be some deeper link between authenticity and suffering. Toiling away in a hot kitchen for hours is how one makes authentic food. And how do we judge if someone is sincere in their convictions? Only if they are willing to suffer for them.
Amazing as always. I love your narrative technique. I hope you're finding ways to care for yourself in between these deep and challenging projects of yours.
I'm a regular Tablet reader, and probably not your Substack's target audience, but I came here tell you that your article had real insight. In particular, it takes a lot of self-awareness to acknowledge that you struggled in high school because you were unlikable.
Bullying is a way of enforcing social norms among peers. Yes, there are innocent victims who are picked on because they are poor or minorities or physically unattractive. But often, it's kids who are truly strange and antisocial in threatening ways that are isolated. This is likely the case of school shooters. They don't shoot up the school because they are bullied; they are bullied because they are dangerous sociopaths.
One of your best; I sent this to my wife and we both remarked upon how you are the only online culture writer who not only has anything interesting to say, but truly understand the subjects and context you write about. The line of thought you touch on periodically about the internet dissolving physical embodiment ("lost in cyberspace" -- which I think I recall you saying you picked up from academic digital studies writing from the 90s?) deserves a much longer treatment.
I dunno how you do it. You gotta have some kinda emotional hazmat suit, like ... Do you like, go into a trance, pretend you're someone you're not, like an actor, and just "what's my motivation?" your way into diving into one of these hell holes just to do some research? I seriously admire your ability to do this and retain any sanity. And your ability to sort of chameleon your way in, AND be reasonably objective when you report back. You're seriously a character, and covering a very niche but... probably long term important subject matter, of online community dynamics. Like fuck sociology, this shit is real, and really affects things IRL, not like pretend racism statistics.
In that case (in light of knowing you are sadly *not* unaffected), let me comfort and reassure you that you do amazing work (IMO anyway) and somehow I find this a contribution to the human race, this e-anthropology.
If there's a theme that I am picking up, is it romance? Not lovey-dovey, of course. But an infatuation with mass shooters? Kind of like the whole rebel-without-a-cause James Dean thing, but taken to a horrible extreme? Make your mark, die young, stay pretty? Be known for something, even if it's evil or awful?
If so, it's really old wine distilled into a strong, toxic, and combustible form.
The common trope about young people and risk is that they think they are immortal, so we have to bubble-wrap them in safetyist restrictions. I've often wondered if the real problem is that young people instead don't think their life is worth that much, and if it kills them, big whoop. As Suicidal Tendencies(!) sang at the end of "Institutionalized" from 40 years ago, "It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway..."
Some of these artists seem sick--not in the sense of disgusting/twisted, but in the sense of some unaddressed mental illness. And they undoubtedly want more than a Pepsi, and we're not giving it to them.
A big part of me wants to find out what makes these mass shooters "tick", not just so that we can prevent future mass shootings and not unnecessarily restrict personal liberty in the name of "doing something", but to do something about this mental illness--or the lack of mental hygiene that causes it.
I posted on another Substack that thanks to social media, we've all become posers of some sort as we curate our online persona as if it were a consumer product, complete with the requisite marketing and marketeering, and hope to hell we don't get cancelled and lose our shelf space and market share. Social media is no longer a highlight reel--it's an infomercial. In this regard, we're no longer people, or even robots. We're a damn six-pack of beer.
If our lives are reduced to bits and bytes and words on a screen, that's not good. That's not healthy. But it seems to feed a certain warped desire for "immortality".
This was brilliant and devastating to read in equal measures. Pretty sure this article is going to haunt me for a couple of weeks while I acclimatise to the idea of these online communities.
The bit about authentic acts and sincerity really rings true. There does seem to be some deeper link between authenticity and suffering. Toiling away in a hot kitchen for hours is how one makes authentic food. And how do we judge if someone is sincere in their convictions? Only if they are willing to suffer for them.
Beautifully put
Amazing as always. I love your narrative technique. I hope you're finding ways to care for yourself in between these deep and challenging projects of yours.
Thank you. And I am absolutely not and going crazy lol
I'm a regular Tablet reader, and probably not your Substack's target audience, but I came here tell you that your article had real insight. In particular, it takes a lot of self-awareness to acknowledge that you struggled in high school because you were unlikable.
Bullying is a way of enforcing social norms among peers. Yes, there are innocent victims who are picked on because they are poor or minorities or physically unattractive. But often, it's kids who are truly strange and antisocial in threatening ways that are isolated. This is likely the case of school shooters. They don't shoot up the school because they are bullied; they are bullied because they are dangerous sociopaths.
Thank you for reading it. And you might be surprised, maybe you are my target audience.
This was a well done and unavoidably disquieting piece--all credit to you for writing it, and Tablet for running it.
Thank you, I appreciate you reading it.
One of your best; I sent this to my wife and we both remarked upon how you are the only online culture writer who not only has anything interesting to say, but truly understand the subjects and context you write about. The line of thought you touch on periodically about the internet dissolving physical embodiment ("lost in cyberspace" -- which I think I recall you saying you picked up from academic digital studies writing from the 90s?) deserves a much longer treatment.
Thank you -- I really appreciate that. And I'm working on something... God willing
I dunno how you do it. You gotta have some kinda emotional hazmat suit, like ... Do you like, go into a trance, pretend you're someone you're not, like an actor, and just "what's my motivation?" your way into diving into one of these hell holes just to do some research? I seriously admire your ability to do this and retain any sanity. And your ability to sort of chameleon your way in, AND be reasonably objective when you report back. You're seriously a character, and covering a very niche but... probably long term important subject matter, of online community dynamics. Like fuck sociology, this shit is real, and really affects things IRL, not like pretend racism statistics.
Thank you. I don’t actually know how good at it I am, reviews are often mixed. And I am definitely not unaffected. This one was tough.
In that case (in light of knowing you are sadly *not* unaffected), let me comfort and reassure you that you do amazing work (IMO anyway) and somehow I find this a contribution to the human race, this e-anthropology.
If there's a theme that I am picking up, is it romance? Not lovey-dovey, of course. But an infatuation with mass shooters? Kind of like the whole rebel-without-a-cause James Dean thing, but taken to a horrible extreme? Make your mark, die young, stay pretty? Be known for something, even if it's evil or awful?
If so, it's really old wine distilled into a strong, toxic, and combustible form.
The common trope about young people and risk is that they think they are immortal, so we have to bubble-wrap them in safetyist restrictions. I've often wondered if the real problem is that young people instead don't think their life is worth that much, and if it kills them, big whoop. As Suicidal Tendencies(!) sang at the end of "Institutionalized" from 40 years ago, "It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway..."
Some of these artists seem sick--not in the sense of disgusting/twisted, but in the sense of some unaddressed mental illness. And they undoubtedly want more than a Pepsi, and we're not giving it to them.
A big part of me wants to find out what makes these mass shooters "tick", not just so that we can prevent future mass shootings and not unnecessarily restrict personal liberty in the name of "doing something", but to do something about this mental illness--or the lack of mental hygiene that causes it.
I posted on another Substack that thanks to social media, we've all become posers of some sort as we curate our online persona as if it were a consumer product, complete with the requisite marketing and marketeering, and hope to hell we don't get cancelled and lose our shelf space and market share. Social media is no longer a highlight reel--it's an infomercial. In this regard, we're no longer people, or even robots. We're a damn six-pack of beer.
If our lives are reduced to bits and bytes and words on a screen, that's not good. That's not healthy. But it seems to feed a certain warped desire for "immortality".
Beautifully researched and written, Katherine.
Thank you
This was brilliant and devastating to read in equal measures. Pretty sure this article is going to haunt me for a couple of weeks while I acclimatise to the idea of these online communities.
Thank you for reading it