I struggle with the concept of "looksmaxxing" as a plastic surgeon who performs "body optimization" treatments and also as a female consumer and patient who internalizes and feels the burden of societal expectations for perpetual improvement.
When I was a kid in the much-celebrated 2000s I remember the only thing that was acceptable to be was a "skater" or "emo" or some other idiotic subculture. The internet was a very nice break from that where I didn't have to think about who or what I was and I could just argue about stuff directly or post things I liked and find their appropriate audience naturally. Why do all the pieces like yours pretend that the internet did something to real life? Real life was always complete shit and the internet was nice because "people" were placed last in line. Now everyone uses their IRL name and face and no surprise nobody shuts up about "looks" or "doing things" much like they did then, maybe a slightly more existentialist twist on thinking all guys had to be "skaters" but it's the same junk.
Americans are profoundly religious. They don’t have to believe in god or go to church or any of that. But they are religious minded. It isn’t just about individual competition. It is the religion. What they do every day and where they invest their hope for salvation.
2. They can fake a good smile on Instagram and think that's enough
3. They don't want to get wrinkles
4. They're afraid it will smudge their makeup
5. The spontaneity required for genuine smile requires vulnerability but they're afraid to be vulnerable
6. They're narcissistic
7. They think spontaneity is weakness that will be exploited
8. They have turned "fake it 'till you make it" into a totalizing ideology
9. They see everything in terms of power dynamics
10. They learned a lot about human interaction through social media and are unaware of the gross ways social media distorts reality
11. They see so many beautiful, fake-happy people on social media that some part of them deeply believes that beauty is happiness and they can see that they're beautiful so they never think to ask themselves why they're unhappy
12. They are resentful that they have been forced to make themselves so beautiful
If it were my self esteem that was dead, then why are you the one belittling women and other people online. I think it is you who is unhappy and projecting this to others you don’t know
"the constant inventory of your privilege, the performance of allyship, the sense that you are always falling short of being good enough. The throughline is that you’re never done. There’s always another way you’ve failed."
Adding to the conversation this quote from (leftist) filmmaker and film critic Fred Camper from his essay Our Flattening Culture (wich I recomend):
"Encouraging everyone to enjoy the validity of their own existence has been a giant, if nowhere near completed, step forward. But steps can step too far, as is the case when our senses of our identities are located less in the facts of our origins, what we have accomplished in life, and what we hope to accomplish in the future, but rather in what we are feeling about ourselves at this very moment. We are encouraged to conceive of ourselves as natural, beautiful, and self-validating, but also not subject to self-questionings, criticisms, or needs to change. Should not celebrating who we are go alongside asking what we can become?"
I feel like the lack of self-reflection Camper talks about is tied to how someone might never feel like they're never good enough, wich I think it's also tied with the desire to not make any decisions wich is visible in some depressed people (and I speak from experience). Reviewing your allyship, checking your priveledge etc... only makes you check some very specific boxes in your life, and while it can lead to some unconfortable truths, you also sorta know what to expect and what you should do.
And therefore you never actually change or grow, you merely update yourself so your life "reflects" your current values, like a robot.
And therefore you never actually change or grow, you merely update yourself so your life "reflects" your current values, like a robot. <-- absolutely ... which itself is a type of narcissism, as much as I hate that word!
- Skin lightening products have been common in India for decades. They were all over Hindi TV in the early 00s. This is partly aligned to class identities. If you work in the fields then you are darker and therefore lower class. Very similar to pre-industrial Europe and the status symbol of pale skin. Race comparisons also probably play a role (both North India vs South India as well as Indian vs European)
- The logic of Looksmaxxing is ultimately post human. The same destination as cosmetic surgery, extreme dieting, steroids, etc. The only way out of the flesh is through.
Is it all downstream of real economic competition, or the medium itself? The internet opens one up to unlimited competition (more so perceived competition, that Instagram model isn't going to rove up to your small town and steal your girlfriend, probably).
The medium, engagement weighted algorithms, incubate infinite competition in terms of what is consumed. The bar is always raising for what is in one's newsfeed, this eventually permeates through one's entire perspective and standards for everything from interior decoration, standard of living, to partnership.
I've seen a trend lately of performative loserdom too. That youtube microgenre where elder millennials lambast their past selves. For every new hypercompetitive niche that eats away the normal, there is an equal community of cope. Ironically, engagement algorithms will likely make this cope performative too. It takes talent to be a real loser, a Chris Chan.
Your average person can't just drop out, like a said being a broad-spectrum loser is too competitive now too. But they won't be able to make a normal "living" either. The only way to "drop out" of the mainstream is to drop into a hyper specific algorithmic niche that one is actually good at. The going gets weird, there is no normal anymore, the new normal is everyone maxxing something, anything, for a crumb of community and recognition. An age of winner takes all for every conceivable concept, thankfully we're discovering that the opportunities in which one can flourish are as endless as the competition itself. Specialization is for ants, though. Every man a jester.
I struggle with the concept of "looksmaxxing" as a plastic surgeon who performs "body optimization" treatments and also as a female consumer and patient who internalizes and feels the burden of societal expectations for perpetual improvement.
“Individualism promised that you could define yourself. Instead, it made you responsible for justifying your existence.” Kinda felt this one.
When I was a kid in the much-celebrated 2000s I remember the only thing that was acceptable to be was a "skater" or "emo" or some other idiotic subculture. The internet was a very nice break from that where I didn't have to think about who or what I was and I could just argue about stuff directly or post things I liked and find their appropriate audience naturally. Why do all the pieces like yours pretend that the internet did something to real life? Real life was always complete shit and the internet was nice because "people" were placed last in line. Now everyone uses their IRL name and face and no surprise nobody shuts up about "looks" or "doing things" much like they did then, maybe a slightly more existentialist twist on thinking all guys had to be "skaters" but it's the same junk.
Americans are profoundly religious. They don’t have to believe in god or go to church or any of that. But they are religious minded. It isn’t just about individual competition. It is the religion. What they do every day and where they invest their hope for salvation.
Really made me think and feel, no other notes, still thinking 🐬
So many beautiful women unable to muster a genuine smile.
Why do you think that is?
Lot of ways to answer that question.
1. They're not happy
2. They can fake a good smile on Instagram and think that's enough
3. They don't want to get wrinkles
4. They're afraid it will smudge their makeup
5. The spontaneity required for genuine smile requires vulnerability but they're afraid to be vulnerable
6. They're narcissistic
7. They think spontaneity is weakness that will be exploited
8. They have turned "fake it 'till you make it" into a totalizing ideology
9. They see everything in terms of power dynamics
10. They learned a lot about human interaction through social media and are unaware of the gross ways social media distorts reality
11. They see so many beautiful, fake-happy people on social media that some part of them deeply believes that beauty is happiness and they can see that they're beautiful so they never think to ask themselves why they're unhappy
12. They are resentful that they have been forced to make themselves so beautiful
Who died and made you genuine smile police?
this comment thread is frying me
Your self-esteem.
If it were my self esteem that was dead, then why are you the one belittling women and other people online. I think it is you who is unhappy and projecting this to others you don’t know
I'm not belittling women, I'm concerned for them.
"the constant inventory of your privilege, the performance of allyship, the sense that you are always falling short of being good enough. The throughline is that you’re never done. There’s always another way you’ve failed."
Adding to the conversation this quote from (leftist) filmmaker and film critic Fred Camper from his essay Our Flattening Culture (wich I recomend):
"Encouraging everyone to enjoy the validity of their own existence has been a giant, if nowhere near completed, step forward. But steps can step too far, as is the case when our senses of our identities are located less in the facts of our origins, what we have accomplished in life, and what we hope to accomplish in the future, but rather in what we are feeling about ourselves at this very moment. We are encouraged to conceive of ourselves as natural, beautiful, and self-validating, but also not subject to self-questionings, criticisms, or needs to change. Should not celebrating who we are go alongside asking what we can become?"
I feel like the lack of self-reflection Camper talks about is tied to how someone might never feel like they're never good enough, wich I think it's also tied with the desire to not make any decisions wich is visible in some depressed people (and I speak from experience). Reviewing your allyship, checking your priveledge etc... only makes you check some very specific boxes in your life, and while it can lead to some unconfortable truths, you also sorta know what to expect and what you should do.
And therefore you never actually change or grow, you merely update yourself so your life "reflects" your current values, like a robot.
And therefore you never actually change or grow, you merely update yourself so your life "reflects" your current values, like a robot. <-- absolutely ... which itself is a type of narcissism, as much as I hate that word!
A couple of points:
- Skin lightening products have been common in India for decades. They were all over Hindi TV in the early 00s. This is partly aligned to class identities. If you work in the fields then you are darker and therefore lower class. Very similar to pre-industrial Europe and the status symbol of pale skin. Race comparisons also probably play a role (both North India vs South India as well as Indian vs European)
- The logic of Looksmaxxing is ultimately post human. The same destination as cosmetic surgery, extreme dieting, steroids, etc. The only way out of the flesh is through.
Yes!
Good point re skin lightening, colorism is another dimension here.
“endless self-optimization toward nothing, the performance of becoming” 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Me as hell btw
the line was so good i just had to reference it: https://www.thechow.net/p/you-should-probably-stretch-more#:~:text=a%20society%20that,it%20recently.
This is an excellent piece.
FINALLY, some approval from you!
Is it all downstream of real economic competition, or the medium itself? The internet opens one up to unlimited competition (more so perceived competition, that Instagram model isn't going to rove up to your small town and steal your girlfriend, probably).
The medium, engagement weighted algorithms, incubate infinite competition in terms of what is consumed. The bar is always raising for what is in one's newsfeed, this eventually permeates through one's entire perspective and standards for everything from interior decoration, standard of living, to partnership.
I've seen a trend lately of performative loserdom too. That youtube microgenre where elder millennials lambast their past selves. For every new hypercompetitive niche that eats away the normal, there is an equal community of cope. Ironically, engagement algorithms will likely make this cope performative too. It takes talent to be a real loser, a Chris Chan.
Your average person can't just drop out, like a said being a broad-spectrum loser is too competitive now too. But they won't be able to make a normal "living" either. The only way to "drop out" of the mainstream is to drop into a hyper specific algorithmic niche that one is actually good at. The going gets weird, there is no normal anymore, the new normal is everyone maxxing something, anything, for a crumb of community and recognition. An age of winner takes all for every conceivable concept, thankfully we're discovering that the opportunities in which one can flourish are as endless as the competition itself. Specialization is for ants, though. Every man a jester.
All great points. I think the loserdom, as you note, is a type of competition too. It is the inverse of optimization.
Pleeease start hosting events here! Love your blog and would love to meet you & fellow readers.
Hmm... I need a venue and a good excuse!