I teared up when you broke talking about the girl who thought you'd be fine going back to highschool because people liked you. The suffering in your voice hurt.
When i was in highschool we had a friend who was an asshole, but he was our asshole. Really likeable guy, always had weed and drove a VW red bug that smelled like gasoline when you sat in back.
We were driving one day, high and laughing speeding around the neighborhood, when we saw a kid on a bike. We had large slurpies from 7 Eleven and my friend hurled the slurpee at this poor kid while driving past him. The slurpee exploded on his back and he went down hard. I laughed harder than I should have, and hearing you break made me break knowing how we could have changed the trajectory of that kids life. I wish I knew who that kid was so I could say I'm sorry.
I hate who I was knowing that was wrong, I was raised better but I also felt like that kid because I was made fun of. Skinny, artistic and a nerd, couldn't fight. I realize now I was laughing because it felt good to be the powerful one. A sickening lust to be on the handle side of a sword.
The work you guys have done with these pieces will be studied and appreciated more than you'll ever know. I hope the psychic damage you absorbed will pay you. It's why I subscribe. I know a cop and he talks about the things he has to deal with. When you hear how evil humans can be you lose a part of yourself...it dies a suffocating death with eyes that stare back at you with just the word "why?" in them. But that awareness allows you to help everyone. It's hard, but someone has to do it. Thank you.
Seconding this. Corny, but I often think of the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven. You never know who you had an impact on, and what that impact was.
What an episode. This is why I subscribe. I was into some of the more obscure communities in high school (D&D, theater, vampire role-playing, goth etc...) but this was when the Internet was still AOL. Columbine happened when I was in college and I still recall people in my group wondering what those bullies did to deserve it. I mean, we grew up with Heathers.
Previous to social media we used to have more unfiltered conversations, the reticence that we feel online hadn't filtered down to in-person interaction yet, so people would say things that now would be beyond the pale and you could have an honest reaction. Now people can only do that with anon accounts.
Unfortunately I don't know enough about AOL since I went on a few times in high school but wasn't super into it. When I was a pre-teen I used Quantum Link (which eventually became AOL) on the Commodore and that was fun (especially Club Caribe, which was like a primitive MMOG) but then moved over to BBS's until my modem got taken away after I sold floppy discs to friends about phreaking, Anarchist Cookbook, etc... I didn't get back online in full force until it was the actual Internet and I think the first website I went to was for Waterworld, ha!
The comparison with fictional villains is interesting-- I feel like there has been a shift in how (some) fans treat fictional villains. The bad guys usually have charisma and an appeal, but overwhelmingly fans of those characters weren't trying to excuse or justify the behaviour, which is something I'm seeing a lot more of these days. It definitely always existed, which is something I've seen in my deep dives (I'm STILL reeling that the failure of a show to canonize an evil vampire/good human relationship was framed as racist and homophobic because of how worshipped the evil character is, that failure to elevate him sufficiently is seen as bigotry), but it seems more common these days. The "little meow meow" phenomenon, for example. I have thought that the rise of Your Fave Is Problematic was an overcorrection to witnessing the spread of this, and in turn became a meme/joke of its own by overextending what is considered unacceptable.
This was kind of a tough one to listen too. I still remember when Columbine happened and I was standing around in my middle school gym talking about it with the other kids. There was such an intense media storm at the time. Now it feels like the media has stopped caring about what causes school shootings.
I teared up when you broke talking about the girl who thought you'd be fine going back to highschool because people liked you. The suffering in your voice hurt.
When i was in highschool we had a friend who was an asshole, but he was our asshole. Really likeable guy, always had weed and drove a VW red bug that smelled like gasoline when you sat in back.
We were driving one day, high and laughing speeding around the neighborhood, when we saw a kid on a bike. We had large slurpies from 7 Eleven and my friend hurled the slurpee at this poor kid while driving past him. The slurpee exploded on his back and he went down hard. I laughed harder than I should have, and hearing you break made me break knowing how we could have changed the trajectory of that kids life. I wish I knew who that kid was so I could say I'm sorry.
I hate who I was knowing that was wrong, I was raised better but I also felt like that kid because I was made fun of. Skinny, artistic and a nerd, couldn't fight. I realize now I was laughing because it felt good to be the powerful one. A sickening lust to be on the handle side of a sword.
The work you guys have done with these pieces will be studied and appreciated more than you'll ever know. I hope the psychic damage you absorbed will pay you. It's why I subscribe. I know a cop and he talks about the things he has to deal with. When you hear how evil humans can be you lose a part of yourself...it dies a suffocating death with eyes that stare back at you with just the word "why?" in them. But that awareness allows you to help everyone. It's hard, but someone has to do it. Thank you.
This is a really powerful comment. Thank you for sharing.
Seconding this. Corny, but I often think of the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven. You never know who you had an impact on, and what that impact was.
What an episode. This is why I subscribe. I was into some of the more obscure communities in high school (D&D, theater, vampire role-playing, goth etc...) but this was when the Internet was still AOL. Columbine happened when I was in college and I still recall people in my group wondering what those bullies did to deserve it. I mean, we grew up with Heathers.
Previous to social media we used to have more unfiltered conversations, the reticence that we feel online hadn't filtered down to in-person interaction yet, so people would say things that now would be beyond the pale and you could have an honest reaction. Now people can only do that with anon accounts.
I hear that a lot, and wonder how true it is -- I always thought of the past as somehow more conservative. But I really don't know.
And btw, if you ever want to do an Internet usage interview, I love talking about AOL.
Unfortunately I don't know enough about AOL since I went on a few times in high school but wasn't super into it. When I was a pre-teen I used Quantum Link (which eventually became AOL) on the Commodore and that was fun (especially Club Caribe, which was like a primitive MMOG) but then moved over to BBS's until my modem got taken away after I sold floppy discs to friends about phreaking, Anarchist Cookbook, etc... I didn't get back online in full force until it was the actual Internet and I think the first website I went to was for Waterworld, ha!
The comparison with fictional villains is interesting-- I feel like there has been a shift in how (some) fans treat fictional villains. The bad guys usually have charisma and an appeal, but overwhelmingly fans of those characters weren't trying to excuse or justify the behaviour, which is something I'm seeing a lot more of these days. It definitely always existed, which is something I've seen in my deep dives (I'm STILL reeling that the failure of a show to canonize an evil vampire/good human relationship was framed as racist and homophobic because of how worshipped the evil character is, that failure to elevate him sufficiently is seen as bigotry), but it seems more common these days. The "little meow meow" phenomenon, for example. I have thought that the rise of Your Fave Is Problematic was an overcorrection to witnessing the spread of this, and in turn became a meme/joke of its own by overextending what is considered unacceptable.
this reminds me of something tangential -- the inability to tell the difference between fiction and reality cuts in both directions
This was kind of a tough one to listen too. I still remember when Columbine happened and I was standing around in my middle school gym talking about it with the other kids. There was such an intense media storm at the time. Now it feels like the media has stopped caring about what causes school shootings.